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Ken Lacy

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Melon Tales :: Listen
Watermelon is a beautiful fruit, with its dark green rind that fades to a light white and is filled with a shiny, juicy red fruit. The black seeds add contrast to this perfect slice of summer.

I sliced up a melon and put it in a dish with about an inch of vodka. They melon soaked up the spirits and I gobbled it up. The flavor was subtle, and of course the vodka added to the already juicy melon, which ended up all over my chin and face. I think flavored vodka, such as lemon or berry, or even mango or melon flavors, would be to die for. I've heard that some people inject their melon with tequila or vodka with a syringe, almost the same way some people inject a turkey with flavorings before baking it. I don't have that equipment (it's a little scary to have needles lying around the house.) But it definitely made for a tasty, light desert with a kick. Although plain old watermelon is just as good!

An older, wiser woman I knew who ran a restaurant and developed the recipes for it told me how to pick a watermelon. She said there should be a big yellow spot on the bottom, which proves that it ripened on the vine and sat on the ground. It should be heavy for it's size, determined by hefting a few melons up and feeling them. She also listened to the fruit. She would pluck it and listen for it to sound not hollow, because that means it would be dry inside.

There are lots of recipes for watermelon, from blending it up to make soup to diving it for a relish, a chilled fruit gazpacho, or serving it with prosciutto, but I prefer it plain. I've also heard a few weird things about its health benefits. According to the USDA, watermelon is fat-free and a good source of vitamins A, B6, C and thiamin. It also has more antioxidants than a tomato, which can boost immunity.

So it's obviously a health choice, but I overheard an older gentleman in a bar the other day saying he eats the rind. This is apparently a well-known secret among the older happy hour set. They claim eating the rind stimulates them sexually because it has been proven to contain the same chemicals that Viagra does. Now, these men didn't have wives or women to testify to results, but they swear by it. One said he likes to pickle the rind, which I believe is a classic southern dish, and eats them with sandwiches, while the other man said he just chomps down on an entire slice of melon, rind and all. No word on how long it takes to work, or how long it works. We spared some details for the sake of polite conversation. Whether it's good for sex life or just for keeping immunity high, slice up some watermelon.





Profession: Melon Tales
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